not really having much fun today. I started to think about things. You know that hateful thing we all do that just changes opinions of just about everything in seconds. Or at least in my case that is true. And I had a couple of thoughts
1) Procrastination is a real bitch. I have no idea how to make writing essays fuN!
2) modesty should be abolished! If you have done something good! be proud, just dont be a **** about it. :)
3) If I have fallen in love with someone, then I normally go out my way to run away *child like mentality I KNOW* but obviously I love all around, and i cant run for ever, i will run out of breath. However, this time around, in a group, i am happy, with people who share moral values with me, lead their own lives, tell when i've done wrong *hopefully* and we live our lives. SO my thought is, how can i sustain such love with myself trying to rip it out of me. well i guess we all battle that everyday. And I would write this 100 times a day so someone will see it. I am literally scared of myself because of this mundane, repetitive scheme of life where i gone and done things obviously I shouldnt have done.
4) Following point 3 i had the thought that yes we have all made our handful of "mistakes" and it takes experience to learn from them. And it's about time I started being a bit more open with those close to me, so if i start being emotional maybe i should write it down. I need to apologise for my mistakes... its rather worrying the amount of times i say/ do things I hate doing myself and can tell other people off for doing so. the hippocracy is intoxicating! So i guess I really need to hard reset and start over again with all this stuff.
5) Following a mixture of points 2,3 and 4. I need to open myself up a bit more. By theory, i understand what goes on inside my friends head. (note, i do not understand who they are, i just see where they are coming from, I really want to put that differently, Im sorry for otherwise). However I do not feel it is the same backwards. i dont think they understand where i come from most of the time, and at times i do need them to do so, its rather frustrating. So, if someone would ask me the right questions maybe that sad, rather pathetic, feeling of no one understands what goes on up there would go away. Yet I hit a large stone right after that thought, i barely understand my own head. Which lead to my final thought
6) If i want to attain peace i need to 'fight the demons' in my head. so if any of you have a way of me meeting myself, i would very much like to do so, maybe i could resolve some childhood issues as well,
So i leave you with a song as ever. But this time by a published band rather than soundtrack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W3u5yXt9Zc
And yes I was a fan of them, but I feel this song deserves some attention!
Also deny HIS epicness! I DARE YA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d8m7iC_39k
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