"it's alright, it's okay"

Okay. I admit, i do like meeting new people. especially if they have a certain level of "crazy". And simply. last Friday. met Crazy's friends. They are awesome. would be fun to meet them again and again. shame they can't all move to my school. But still, something for the weekends ehh?
Now there has been a relationship going on for sometime now. Several months. And quite frankly, I have 2 things for this right now, it not needed be said to them, but because it's my blog I like to talk about what i feel and since this is a rather huge part of my life, I just want to say 2 things.

1. I am extremely jealous of them. I try not to show it, but at times it reminds me of the things I miss so dearly, so essentially I am afraid I might do something stupid and cause stupid results. So that worries me. not only because I could be letting a tiny emotion dominate me, but it could potentially get in the way of not two great friendships i have. but even more. and something like that happening again would probably cause me to go over the edge and this time maybe more permanent. so that worries me. a lot.
2. the complete opposite of jealous. I am so happy that it is working out for them. It fills me with so much joy that if they weren't together then I think the cosmos would out of synch. It is honestly the greatest thing i have seen. Just by thinking about it make me feel so secure that I too can grow to have something like that. it simply makes me feel so human again just by knowing that exists still! It is honestly the most wonderful thing ever! I want it to last for eternity, because it seems like it was wanted from the beginning. So there is my blessing and faith, I am not sure if it worth much but I shall give it all I have to make sure it works out for both if I need be there.

I got Sherlock series 1 today! Oh ***K the hell yes! Benedict your mine! for the next 4.5 hours!
i think that covers everything for now... still. I know everything will work out just fine in the end!