Hey DragonRambler, I got my piano back! It's official, one of my siblings have moved out. And now i have the piano back. So happy about that!
I am really tired! More so than usual, and sadly this weekend I don't have a sleeping post, but I am working with my co-producer, which is amazing.
I was given an idea for an episode by faith earlier. F*cking loved it. it looked amazing. I can't wait to see that script.
So I feel like talking about what people want. Wanting things is a necessary thing and we will always want unless we become so enlightened. Which according to Buddhism is slightly impossible for now as the loving Dalai Lama is still about. So the next budha is yet to be found. But don't let that stop you if you are also trying to be enlightened. But here is the first contradiction I have tonight, if you are wanting to attain enlightenment, you cannot achieve it, because enlightenment means you don't want to want. If you have a want for something, when you have it, it leaves room for more want, etc, etc. Never understood it myself.
Well, this segways to my point. We want things. We all want people. Whether we want to be in a relationship with a person or just tap that bitch up, doesn't make a difference. You still want them. But my question is. Is it right to "want"/"love" more than one person in a short space of time? Who judges what a short space of time? A couple of days, weeks? maybe months even?
I would start to think that in the last few years I have wanted people less and less. Mostly because of people's lack of compassion when it comes to these things. Everyone becomes so careless. Myself included. I guess it all comes down to trust. Ultimately, do we trust the other person enough fall on to them.
More often than not. In high schools in particular. One person will indefinitely fall on to one but the other when be there when they reach terminal velocity.
Yeah I am mixing up a lot of analogies there, your fault if you dont understand.
So yeah. I been heart broken this year once or twice. but I could blame myself, but whats the point in blame, I just get over it soon enough. Simply, I stop caring. Answers have not been given for anything that happened to me this year, and I will never get them, because simply, not many people will recognise I was in a position to be hurt. Idiots will continue to talk to me when I need to be away.
Best put I need out. away from idiots, away from people who constantly send me in to a mode of not caring at all. And I just need to get everything else done.
I am human. i make mistakes. i am proud and stubborn. I have flaws, I try to fix these flaws and everyday I will recognise I made a mistake. But when people don't realise they have wronged me and i am making it obvious they have, I stop caring. I don't suffer fools. Past that now.
So how does all that make me any better? well it doesn't, but as i said. I don't care, I refuse to care for things that don't return the same compassion.
well, be honest, I will defend people when need be. But without any form of leeway I can't be involved. I don't like being in a war zone. I don't like the middle, and I really don't like people acting like children when there is a mediated response to be had! Seriously, can Humanity just get over it's self and realise hurting things/people is not productive. It just leads to far more hurt than is required.
Still I am done with being the moderator, or being moderated. I will continue down my various paths, just if your pissing me off. Fuck OFF. I refuse to be anywhere near people who become circular and bogged down by the same ideas of attack. Bored of you.
And yes that is how it works now. If I get bored of something I am going to move on. History has taught me, there is only a finite amount of time for me to be in and if a good proportion of it is spent being bored in a class room or a work room. then when i am out side of that I will have fun. boredom sucks. Immensely. And don't take that as, Ohh, he said he was bored the other day, he is done with me. that is immature! Just because I get bored, doesn't mean you are at fault. perhaps its just we hit a bad spot. Move on elsewhere.
Which brings me on to another rant-able thing. FUCKING ONE WORDED REPLYS! If you talking to someone, don't give an emote as a response. Dont go, "yeah", or "ahuh" or "w/e".
So patronising and I refuse to reply to it! it's not conversation making! It's dumb! I shouldn't have to waste my fingers on multiple words if you can't be arsed to make a sentence.
Fuck being tired. and fuck things going. generally. Fuck everything. it's boring, and if these don't go away soon, I will just rip in to it all. I've been patient for sometime now, and i have tried to be calm. but if someone tells me not to do something I am not even thinking of doing one more time, I will fucking do it! Bored of idiots.
ini Out!
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