What a long and lonely summer this has been. I have been thinking about what i have done since may.
The answer was mostly sit around on my arse giving self pity. Because I suffered a lil bit. The closer I get to a diagnosis, the more work seems to appear. But I can not give up now. Too many people are involved, any given case now, would be to put that work to waste.
Which means, come friday, i will know if i am a sufferer or a whiny little bitch. Autism spectrum disorder, is this a get out of jail card? Or a go to free parking? (Made sense in my head). I dont know what it means. Is it an excuse for my wrong doings, the reason i am held back? Better yet, does it mean i no longer have to bother with normal tjhngs, it gives factual clarity to my actions but does little to substantiate the quality of life i theoretically could have.
The scary question to me is, what do i do after? I havnt had help on how to cope from the proffessionals or google. It is seeing my friends that is the loudest evidence i have. There is no reason why people would do the things that have helped so much unless they truly are friends.
Friend, a word with meaning and is freely tossed about. I think I tried to discuss the meaning before. But now.... i am not so sure. I just know i like i them.
Well, heres to surving on £20 for a month, because i was an idiot and spent money.