Hey people of the internet. I got almost naught to say to on this day. well i do have a couple of things, well they are problems to myself. Well more or less things that annoy me, But still i need to write down what it is in my head and probably scream at people I actually give a damn about, or whatever.
So before i do anything depressing or angsty, or just plain offensive. (Apoligises. But I am only human, i do have my limits before i burst) Let's start of with some positive things. Well my birthday is coming up, and I figure I will once again will have the opposite of what regularly happens on facebook when a birthday comes up and not be inundated by birthday well wishers, and I just will get a couple of people. But this is mainly because my birthday is usually over shadowed by someone else far more popular than myself. I have nothing against them. Except this... almost every year people who i considered my friends, general wished them a happy birthday then completely forgot it was mine as well. it doesnt change the other person at all, I like them and all that. Just that is a tiny bit depressing.
Still. Birthday is coming up! :D
And what was supposed to be a "surprise" outing saturday has 'accidentally' turned in to me organising it. Well. turns out I may be part control freak. But I hope the day will be amazing and I will blog about then there. Just somehow I think money is going to be an issue I really don't want people to pay more than they actually have!
Oh well. i am also sharing this birthday outing with someone else. Mostly because it is cheaper and far more effective to bunch our birthdays together. I tell myself it's because I am away for the following week of their birthday.
I am looking forward to my birthday as much as a 12 year old would (note I am not 12 years old, just a metaphor, though i am sure many people think i have the mentality of one.). I hope it is an amazing day.
Right, first of march? well that's always nice, knowing you have made 1 and bit months alive. (because February even on a leap year isn't a full 30 days! Poor February!) I honestly don't see the speciality of passing over a new month. Months are just a way organised people can book about 4 years in advance, "yes i would like to book a hotel in 56 months, for a possible holiday, i may not even go on".... surely they can wait.
Right now the depressing bit, i suggest you turn off if unless you think that me insulting everyone elses actions is going to be entertainment, or you think you may be able to help in such problems. Well then. be my guest.
Now i am not writing this bit to be spiteful to anyone, or just to shout at them, I am doing this because blogging is a nice way for me to lay out my own head and kinda get rid of whats upsetting me. Besides I want to be as happy as possible on saturday :)
So why am I saddening this time? Well basically, about 3/4 straight says. i would say hello to someone. and i got point blank ignored. And first time. okay maybe they were busy. second, okay that could have it's excuse, but 7 people in One fucking night! Now that is fucking depressing! Seriously people, if you want me gone that much! Just fucking say already!! Bored of being told, Oh "talk to you later" And I WILL sit around for multiple hours on end, just to see if they will return. And inevitably they dont. Who knows, maybe I am just a gullible twat who will believe everything he is told. Unless someone really wants to talk to me, I am just giving up with even going online now. It's pointless wasting my hours being bored when i can do something far more constructive and not be hurt by people in general.
And this week has also been particularly terrible for other people, many people have had other people die. A sibling of mine broke up with their partner. Others have been getting Ill. generally shit. This has jsut lead to me worrying about others. and me being me, I get hurt by the fact people need time for themselves.
(what selfish cunt I can be, people ignoring me just so they can heal by themselves, ohh what wonderful people I push away) Honestly. i hate what has been happening over the past week or two. I been getting over tired. being doing very little. very little new has actually appeared. I am just fed up with trying.
It is so boring right now! Almost nothing is happening. Like I have done something and being punished for it! if i have, then please Someone tell what it was so I can apologise for it, because it is rather tiresome watching everyone else suffer.
So yeah I been a bit down, and out. Stressing out alot, and in the mood to kick something... hard... until it breaks, sort of hard... Could really do with something to get away from all this. Or just give me a better fucking cure than, walk away from the internet. And do what?!? most of the things i like doing usually include other people!! The only reason I play games is because i can do it with out other people being about. but if youtube wont load and the shitty buffer rates keep getting in teh way I think i will just throw what ever is in the way.
Okay, i think for now, i just want to be stop being fed excuses and have people just make a change around me. I want to change myself so that it benefits you, but currently I am just pissed off at the world for being so annoying. Or more correctly. Hurtful. Does anyone have any idea what it is like just sitting alone for hours on end, waiting online for someone else to say hello for once. And if you say hello you get, cant talk "busy". THEN WHY THEY FUCK ARE YOU ONLINE!?!?! seriously, if you have work, turn off the internet, and do it!
Anyway, im off now. expect my next post to be after my birthday. I just hope I feel better for then. I dont know, maybe people will finally decided to talk to me and tell what the fuck is wrong with me. So i can change it already!
I am now tired, and..... gahh who cares. Not like me ranting about anything going to change it. seriously What was the point in me writing all that!? It's not like I will be inundated with people going, "hello" now. Noone reads this blog and it's completely futile tasks trying to talk to someone who is currently engaged in some activity it just leads to people suddenly leaving without telling me! Which as demonstrated in a previous post, i find really insulting.....
So yeah, byebye people
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