Today. It has been one of those really odd days where I have no idea how I should feel. But I have been able to rant the whole world away. Fantasticly so of course. Picking on small things which are probably minor nuisances for the many and making them so bleeding obvious and simple and most likely covering up the real thing that is troubling me.
Not that there. Well i am going to start. I have been told today. I have passed my grade 5 classical guitar. WITH A MERIT! I am so gleeful at this! So such that I have used the word glee, even though America destroyed this word with TV. So I may just take this word back to it's original meaning.
And I am ecstatic. Though I had 3 mock exams today. Nothing can quite destroy that. And for those who like to think that one through. Yes. 3 mock exams is all day long. And I have the maximum of another 2 tomorrow. It is enough to make me cry.
So because of that, I have now put myself on a sugar hi. Well I say hi... I've hit the low now. Kinda wanna sleep, kinda wanna have a deep emotional and kinda wanna be making someone feel special and amazing, and do it all for them... Wow what a mix of emotions. I miss that already. Jeez I feel like such a whore! when I am not people laugh or smile, or know I am not contributing, I feel crap and when I am. Well, The release of serotonin and euphoria just doesn't stop. Or at least not until they leave or I leave because I nEED TO BE ON A SCHEDULE! Honestly, I love adventure, but when I have somewhere to be, I will be there. Organisation is good.
I feel I need to limit my use of the word love. I do mean it. But maybe it just leaves myself to be confused every time I say it. I have found mixing deep desires with actual connections is a bad thing. Though this directly contradicts yesterday as I was going on about how i discovered my meanings in life and why i want to be close (or at least I think i got that down) and yet here I am already limiting myself because I get confused? How silly is that!? Surely I can be satisfied with which ever part I take. Annoy myself so much sometimes!
STill, I am now following with one of my new year resolutions and trying to write a song, anyone who wants to help/give me lyrics you are a life giver! Have fun people!
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