It truly amazing to know how amazingly annoying boring people can be. It's not that I am fascinated by the people around me it just takes me one sentence to push an edge and it all of a sudden become so very dull again. I miss year 12 for that. At least then I had people around me who were fun! You know that idea of fun. People around you actually doing things or constructing thought on the world. Maybe that's what i find the most annoying about it all.
It is incredible that no matter how far I try to reach in to a comfort zone that I am used to people start to back away and yet the still want to do "childish" things. But they are not childish in anyway. In fact they are quite teenager in their act. The loss of innocence is no player in this! It just people trying to act younger than they are. Whilst taking all the niceties of being an adult. My comfort zone is being silly and just acting on the first thought and just speaking. Granted this can lead to trouble, but here's the problem. When you go in to any form of conversation, they is a need to reciprocate, so if when you confronted by a thought that shouldn't be there, the first thought should be "what?" Then you should reply with what, then realise what's happened, then reply constructively by creating a new thought from it.
When you put conversation in my comfort zone like that, it suddenly sounds like you are on a formula for speaking. But I don't view it like that, I see 'normal' conversation as formulated and planned. Because most people reply to what they know and understand. It is only by letting it get taken to something new and not there, can we really begin to interact properly. Meaning, that any idea that pops in to your head should come out.
And you know what, it doesn't matter if it sounds offensive or not. Because here's the beauty. You can begin to explore why you just thought that, and maybe the next time the thought appears, it would be different enough.
See? That's the basis of understanding. Through stupid comment you can brought round to see a new light on something you probably weren't too sure on.
Unfortunately, society seems to deem this very approachable way to life as reasons to keep away from each other. Being so scared as we are to talk about the things we shouldn't.
And why is this relevant to me? Well because since coming to university, I have been surround by the mundane and boring. Everyone, their personalities. Worked out faster than I would like. And those who gave me pause for thought. Jesus fucking christ, you lot are the worst. The most dull of them all! I can see now that quite clearly you are the person I first thought you were gonna be. But you were being nice to me so obviously something was up. Really not helping.
It would be so much easier to turn to people and just say "hey, i have voices in my head, speak to me and I will know the type of person you are and I will be able to work out most of your day to day problems just by looking at you.". If someone is still there at the end of that. THAT PERSON, is a keeper.
I think this sorted a thing out for me.... HA!
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