Drat. I got over 1000 views and didn't celebrate!

Okay, I went to hospital over a week ago. That was nice.
Turns out I had a reaction to the Sertraline called "serotonin syndrome".
Well if that doesn't give you hope. And as I result I don't want to be around anyone or anything for a long time. It would be nice to just sit in a room with a relative nothing as noise.
Other than that shocking experience, I am highly disappointed by both the 111 services and the 999 services. 111 for just telling me to call 999. And 999 for grumpy butt-holes.
And I know that now, though not at the time, I was right to call 999 at 3 in the morning;
"Serotonin syndrome is a potentially life-threatening drug reaction that may occur following therapeutic drug use"
There I am shaking and in lots of pain and there they are telling me it's an anxiety attack!
I find it very fortunate I had 2mg of diazapam left from before the holiday because as I also found out, that's the way to treat!
I must say that is the scariest thing to have happen. To be shaking in uncontrolable fits for hours. Quite clearly I have nothing to worry about now but it has left me in a very tired and pained state. I would like it if I were able to see someone who didn't bore me to hell and basically talked to me like it all used to be. But I think I am too tired and generally I don't want to be near anyone I like.
Think I really am tired of making efforts and literally getting nothing back. No one else seems to make an effort.
I haven't been able to shake that feeling. I don't think.
Honestly, what is the point half the time. Sometimes it's all too slow and all too fast. I would like to be able to see something that only will bring me happy. Though I think that would meaning spending money and chewing to my hearts content.

I do honestly believe I am done with everything. But it seems sheer stubbornness keeps me going. And I think I will have to keep going before everything comes to collapse around me even more.

Sticking tape is no replacement for brick I guess.