What is in my head?

Ooo yay, because I forgot to do a fourth post last month, I know have to do 8 posts this month. Hopefully it won't be as hard as the last month. And it also kind of means I have to knock out 4 videos this month. Which at the rate I am going at, probably wont happen. I am doing so well with that resolution thing!
On the other hand. I finished basically all my work. So this holiday all I gotta do is write and essay and write a song for a solo performance using nothing but the keyboard on the computer and the MIDI keyboard connected to the computer. There is a difference there. Just trust me on that one.
So I been seeing that councillor lady for some weeks now and only now is she kind of piecing together why I am seeking help... never mind I said why. But I have also completely explained the way my head is working and who knows, maybe she will stop asking how I am.
But for the sake of people who still ask how I am. I STILL DON'T KNOW!

To explain why, I have to explain the way I think. And the way I think is probably incredibly normal for some human beings, but I have previously describe inside my head as noise.
I describe it as noise because it is like white noise. 20000 Hz worth of thoughts all at once and the most prominent one is the one that is amplified.
I describe it like that because what is happening in there is basically I am thinking about anything to keep me occupied, and then I will think about something else. And through process of elimination this usually leads to me reaching conclusions and getting to think about things that maybe some others would have thought.

Or that's how it worked in school and for a brief period around that. Unfortunately, at University, I can no longer think of one thing. It is a headache to keep me occupied, I get bored so easy. So I using this as a defence mechanism. To keep all the thoughts out of my head at the same time. Because now that I am here, all I can think is the worst possible things, and that is not helping anything. So I am constantly conscious, thinking about anything that comes to mind.
Which also explains squirrels, because lets face it. They are cute.
But most importantly, because of the noise in my head, I just don't translate feelings very well, I can't feel, in the same way. So, if I say I am allright, I am basically lying. Which is wrong.

In unrelated but still me news. I have been have one of those sexuality crises.
I'll spoil the conclusion. I am Demi Sexual.
Which means, I can be with Anyone, as long as they are human, but I need to love them to feel/do anything else. Which explains a lot of situations to me. I can now say, I just don't, and there is a name for it.
However, that will not stop people not understanding.
So my dinner is cooked, so I can leave my thoughts there.
Bye Rambling strangers!